Legend of Zelda Truth or Dare Torture
by MetaGiga
Summary: A new type of Truth or Dare! Dare the cast or make them tell the truth! Can they withstand the torment of a psychotic kikwi obsessed with Ghirahim and a co-host that really doesn't want to be there in the first place? Probably not. I DO NOT OWN THE ZELDA FRANCHISE. THAT BELONGS TO NINTENDO. Converted into site-friendly format!
1. Chapter 1

Darkness filled a long abandoned studio as a rusted door was trying to be forced open. "God dammit..." muttered a voice from the other side, "Darkine, give me a hand here?" "This is what you get for trying to be cute."

Instantly, the door was kicked open to reveal a girl, around eighteen... And a kikwi wearing a red bandanna. Pouting, the kikwi replied, "Hey, I'm trying to set the mood here. This is a ZELDA thing, so why not be a ZELDA race?" Rolling her eyes, the teen decided to not question the choice. "You _do _know the Critics and Eliminators will be after us, MetaGiga..."

The kikwi, known as MetaGiga, gave her a smug look. "Notice anything... Different? Well, other then my cuteness?" Meta asked. The teen, Darkine, thought hard, then realized what was different. Looking at the format of the story with her glowing yellow eyes, she was astonished. "You haven't been using script format."

"Yep."

"We still have a problem, though."

"What's that?" Meta asked, cocking her head to the side. Darkine looked down to her creator, a serious look on her face. "How the hell are we going to to a Truth or Dare Torture if we can't have people send in dares via review? They'll get on us for that. They always look for a way," she said sternly. The kikwi sighed, "We'll just have the readers send in their stuff in PMs! That way, no reviews will be in the story to give them a reason to say 'Hey, you've allowed reviewers to participate. Reported. You don't know how to write,' to me."

"... That still violates a rule."

"Nope. A while ago, a really nice person said it was a loophole around it!" MetaGiga replied happily. Darkine gave her a surprised look, then shugged, "Your funeral, I guess."

Rolling her eyes (or what seemed like it), a dark ball of energy formed in MetaGiga's little kikwi hands. Blasting it on the ceiling, it grew bigger and bigger... Until almost all of the Zelda cast from every game came crashing down on top of Darkine. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Darkine snapped under the Happy Mask Salesman's pack of masks. Meta simply shrugged, giggling, "It's tradition. You understand that, right?"

As soon as the full Zelda cast got up, they took a good look at their surroundings. Twilight Princess Link was the first one to talk (We'll call him TP... Hehehe, TP), "Where in Hyrule are we..?"

"It is an 85% probability that we are not in Skyloft anymore... Masters," Fi responded.

"... Who're you?"

"WHY ARE THOSE KIDS SO CARTOON-Y?!"

"Hey! Calm down, already!"

"Navi, don't you see that I'm looking at EIGHT DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF MYSELF?!"

Meta was now getting very annoyed. "EVERYONE SHUT UP!" she snapped, pulling something out of her tail... Throwing it at the Links, it was revealed to be... A bomb flower. A freaking bomb flower. Upon its explosion, TP, Skyward Sword Link (SS), Wind Waker Link (WW), Majora's Mask Link (MM), Adult Ocarina of Time Link (OOT), Kid Ocarina of Time Link (OOT Jr.), and the Four Swords gang (Red, Blue, and Purple)... Holy shit, that's a lotta Links. Meanwhile, the Zeldas were deciding to introduce themselves... Er, yeah.

"Hey! I'm Zelda from Skyloft."

"I am Zelda... Formally the Twilight Princess."

"Tetra. I'm a pirate. Apparently another Zelda, but I like Tetra."

"I'm Zelda and I... can transform into a Sheikah?"

"I'm that Zelda's child self!"

"I got saved by four Links by another purple Link that wasn't Link... It was mentally scarring."

MetaGiga laughed to herself at the situation and decided to get back to the task at hand. "So, yeah. We have those Zeldas and Links, Majora, Skull Kid, Ruto, Fledge, Groose, Happy Mask Salesman (HMS), the Ganons from OOT to SS, Pipit, the creepy Bug-Dude, Calwin, Beedle, the companions, Vaati, Darunia, Saria, the Impas, the Kings, Naboruu, Kafei, Anju, Malon, Talon, anyone else I'm forgetting and... _Ghirahim~_..."

MetaGiga suddenly gets a lovey look on her face as she turns over to the said demon lord. In response Ghirahim looks over to her then walks away, really not wanting a kikwi to have any ideas... Unfortunately, she follows. Darkine sighed, then turned back to the readers, "So, yeah. In case you skimmed the chapter, **SEND IN YOUR SETS VIA ****PRIVATE MESSAGE**. That's all. No review. You can review for feedback about how horrible or good the whole thing is, but **NO SETS TO BE SENT ON REVIEWS**. Sorry, guests. We REALLY don't want this to get deleted."


	2. Lava freestyle and Harlem Shake fairies

The studio was now clean and ready to be a proper place of torture. After the tabula-rasa, both MetaGiga and Darkine were looking at their handiwork triumphantly. It was a long battle (they had to fight this weird animal in the bathroom; god knows what the hell it was), but the place was spotless and refurnished. "Well, I never thought you'd help ME fix this up, MetaGiga," Darkine said to the kikwi beside her. Looking up to Darkine, she replied, "Hey. Clean slate. New format, new way of submitting, no reports! New record as of right now. Plus, I've grown up. I'm seventeen now."

"Never thought you'd be able to be nice to me-"

"Don't get used to it, though. I STILL wanna torment you. And pretty much everyone around me. So..."

Darkine was silent, then decided to change the topic. "So, what wake up call do you wanna do for everyone?" she asked. Meta grew excited. "Get out some CDs, we'll skim through to find the perfect thing for the beginning of this Truth or Dare!" she exclaimed, hopping around. Rolling her eyes, Darkine went towards the shelves and pulled out some of the CDs. "Alright, we have... 'Underpants Gnomes', 'GANGNAM STYLE', your actual songs, a disk labeled 'The Purple Horror', one that says 'LAST RESORT', and disks labeled 'The Canadian asshole'... Why the hell do you have one named 'Sandwich'?"

"It's an album by Psychostick. Awesome band that I don't own. Hmm... Hand me Purple Horror." Meta said, then took the disk. Walking to a stereo, she popped it in, pressed play... Then ran away. "EVERY KIKWI FOR HERSELF! KI-KWEEP KWEEEE!"

Darkine then knew why it was called 'The Purple Horror'. "... WAIT FOR ME!"

As soon as the host and co-host ran into Meta's room and slammed the door, the song began.

_I love you_

_You love me_

_We're a happy family_

_With a great big hug_

_And a kiss from m-_

In an instant thumps were heard from the canon's quarters followed by a few stream of swears. Slowly after, Darkine peeked through the door to see if the hellspawn's song stopped. Fortunately, it had. Turning back to MetaGiga, she was busy 'disguising' herself with her bomb flower camouflage. "MetaGiga, it's done. We can start it up now," Darkine said, patting Meta for reassurance. The kikwi then quickly leaped up, hiding her camo back in her tail. "Alright then, let's start this up since everyone's awake."

Quickly scampering out of her room, MetaGiga went right for the stereo, took out 'The Purple Horror' and put it back in its rightful case. Looking back to the Zelda cast, she gave them a big kikwi smile. "Alright, today we got three dare sets! And damn I can't wait~! Let's get this started, shall we?"

"Wait-right now?!" Medli exclaimed, confused at how fast the entire thing is beginning. Darkine sighed, nodding, "Yes, she hasn't done this in a while. She always gets right to the point when it comes to this shit as well..."

Pulling out three letters from her tail, MetaGiga cleared her throat. "This one's from my bud Ayako Zetra!"

* * *

**XD The guy who reviewed is stupid. XD**

**He basically already wasted his time, soooo...ya.**

**Anyways, lets invite all of the great fairies for a sexy dance off. *Evil smirk***

**Toon Link will forever be scarred.**

* * *

As soon as MetaGiga finished reading, she just began cracking up. "You mean, the great fairies from Majora's Mask and Ocarina of Time?!"

OOT, OOT Jr., and MM all grew wide eyed. Memories long blocked off will come back... Even worse then before. Darkine stared at the letter herself, speechless. "Are... You serious? This story's rated T for god's sake!"

WW was officially confused. "Um... Why's everyone freaking out? And why will I be forever scarred?"

That just about did it. Laughing, Meta called up all of the Great Fairies then put on a YouTube video. After showing it to them, she pointed to the stage and the fairies floated over onstage. Turning up the computer to full blast, the song that MetaGiga chose was revealed to be...

The Harlem Shake.

As the fairies began, everyone was just staring in horror. Although the great fairies were enjoying doing the Harlem Shake, everyone else was considering gorging out their eyes. WW was now pale as a piece of printing paper, trembling at the mere sight of almost naked creepy ladies shaking around. It was unknown whether he pissed himself or not, but it was clear that he would never look at a girl the same way again.

Back to the hosts, they were pretty scared themselves. Even MetaGiga, who was taken aback by how horrifying the sight would be, was completely scared out of her mind. And that was a rare occasion. Darkine, on the other hand, just couldn't look away. She wanted to, but this scene was too bizarre to ignore...

Once the song ended, the fairies happily left the stage while everyone was completely mind fucked.

"K-Kwee..."

Instantly, Meta passed out on the ground, followed by a few of the kids. After a few minutes, Meta shot up and shook off the traumatizing experience. She then picked up the next slip, "Th-This one's from ultima-owner... Thanks so much for sticking with me by the way!"

* * *

**Have Ghirahim swim laps in a megma pool...Megma can't kill him, right?**

* * *

"Huh. Never thought about that," Meta murmured, putting the dare slip away. Turning to Ghirahim, she grinned (or the kikwi equivalent of grinning). "I love you, but I wanna see if you can do this, dude!"

Ghirahim was now staring at MetaGiga as if she had grown a deku baba on her twig. Weren't kikwis supposed to be... CUTE AND DOCILE?! This thing was a psychopath. "MetaGiga, is it? I'd rather not do this..."

"But, it's a dare. I'll lose my job if I don't-"

Ghirahim instantly picked up Meta, started licking her with his tongue, then set her down. Meta looked up at him, wide eyed and flushed pink. "Ki... K-Kwi-ki..? ... Kweee~..." was all she got out before she passed out on the ground out of complete confusion and fangirl-love. Ghirahim just gave a smug grin, "Well, looks like this is officially undoable. The hostess is immobile. Thus concludes this chapter-" "Sorry, but it doesn't."

Turning around, Darkine was standing right behind him, "You might have made MetaGiga have a fangirl erection, but you forgot I'm her CO-HOST. If shit like this happens, I take over. And no, licking my face won't get you out of this."

Ghirahim now knew he was royally screwed. "So, Death Mountain or Eldin Volcano? Or do you want me to choose?" Darkine said, giving him a sly smirk. The demon lord knew that Death Mountain was Eldin Volcano in the future, but who knows what happened all those years to Eldin..? Perhaps seeing the future would be nice enough to plan on taking the future. But the name 'Death Mountain' really didn't sound so nice... It's decided.

"Eldin Volcano..."

"Very well, Death Mountain it is."

Before Ghirahim could protest, both he and Darking were transported to the volcano as MetaGiga was still passed out. Good thing is, she wasn't the only one. Talon (who's been asleep the entire show), OOT Jr., Vaati, Tingle, Saria, Kafei, and the Postman were still passed out due to sheer horror when the fairies did the Harlem Shake.

* * *

AT DEATH MOUNTAIN

* * *

The heat was intense inside the mountain. As Darkine was fanning herself off, she escorted Ghirahim to a magma river. "Alright, all you gotta do is prove you can survive in magma. If you can, swim some laps in it," she instructed. Before Ghirahim could say anything, he was pushed over the edge of the cliff separating them from the molten river. "By the way, you can't teleport. Our powers literally can take away your abilities."

With a splash, Ghirahim landed in the lava... And surfaced unscathed. Darkine had an amused look on her face. "Wow, didn't see that comin'," she said, clapping slowly, "All ya gotta do is swim a few laps now."

* * *

BACK AT THE STUDIO

* * *

MetaGiga was now awake and recovered. Looking around for Ghirahim and Darkkine, the kikwi sighed, "Well, at least I got some lickin' from that sexy freak. Time for the last one from agarfinkel!" she said, getting out the dare sheet, "And hot DAMN, these are a lot!"

* * *

**1\. Spirit Tracks Zelda- what was it like being able to possess a phantom?**  
** 2\. Tetra- what did the other members of your crew end up doing once you created New Hyrule?**  
** 3\. Tingle- do you do anything besides draw maps and look for fairies?**  
** 4\. Nabooru- what were you going to give Link after he gave you the Silver Gauntlets?**

** Dares:**  
** 1\. Everyone except Talon- while Talon is sleeping, put him in a room with a hundred alarm clocks and have them all go off at the same time**  
** 2\. Tetra- change into your Zelda form for three chapters**  
** 3\. Groose- read MetaGiga's story "101 ways to Kill Groose" (I want to see his reaction at the various ways that he is killed)**  
** 4\. Everyone- watch any youtube video talking about the infamous Creepypasta "BEN Drowned" (want to see everyone's reation)**

* * *

Meta was now one pretty happy kikwi. So many things to do! "Alright, let's get that ghost over here!" she called into the crowd of Zeldas energetically. As slowly as possible, Ghost Zelda floated over to MetaGiga, scared of what'll happen to her... Would this _thing _try to- "What's it like to be a phantom?" Meta asked, sparkles in her eyes.

"... Huh?" "Being a phantom. What's it like? This guy wants to know, and I kinda want to, too!"

She then looked at her intently, awaiting her answer on what it's like (obviously she wanted to be a phantom when she was playing Spirit Tracks). The ghost looked down to the kikwi, then smiled. "Well," she began, "I guess it's like being in a huge mascot suit. Only you can swing huge stuff." "And. And teleporting?"

"That feels like having a huge wind go right through you. Then you black out... and you're suddenly somewhere else!"

"That's awesome!"

Moments later, MetaGiga and Ghost Zelda began to have a huge conversation with the other about phantoms and all sorts of other stuff right when Darkine came in with a 'slightly' burnt Ghirahim. Looking to her, she sighed. "I knew this would happen... I guess I'm in charge some more. Alright, let's see where she is," Darkine murmured, picking up the paper from the floor. "Hey, Tetra. Got something to ask you," she said, turning to the Zelda group. Once Tetra casually sauntered over, Darkine asked the question.

"What happened to your crew once you found the new Hyrule?"

Tetra simply answered, "They went off to make shops to start it off. Not like we can just get to some place and instantly get a bunch of citizens to come. We have to have a _reason_, y'know?"

"... That makes sense," Darkine replied, thinking about it. After considering trying to escape the clutches of her kikwi captor, she decided to hide her thinking and go to the next Truth before MetaGiga saw any clues. But since she and Ghost Zelda were becoming best friends, it was hard for her to see anything. "Alright, next one," Darkine said, glancing to the set, "Alright then, Tingle. Do you do ANYTHING other then write maps and look at fairies?"

Thinking hard, Tingle nodded, "I travel the world!"

"Travel the world?"

"Yes! Let me show how!"

With the ritual of the Ko-lim-pah, Tingle inflated his pants... _Somehow_... And began to float into the sky. Darkine looked up to him, "Isn't that how you just make maps?!" she called, feeling a bit cheated. "Nope! I might make maps, but how do you think I get around? Plus, traveling is amazing!"

In an instant, the balloon pants were popped and Tingle fell to the ground. Looking to Meta, she had a slingshot in her hands. "You see, Ghost? Shooting down creeps in their mid thirties with helium farts with a slingshot is the best thing ever!"

Darkine approached the two, rolling her eyes, "Nice that you've made yourself a friend there. Now, shall we continue?"

Meta nodded, then looked at the set. "Hey, Naboruu!" she called over to the Gerudo, "Get over here, you have some beans to spill." Reluctantly, Naboruu approached the host. She _knew _this wasn't gonna be good... She could just feel it. The kikwi strapped a machine onto her and asked the next question, "So, Naboruu. What _were _you gonna give Link for those gauntlets, hmm?"

Naboruu replied, "Simple. I was gonna give the kid some rupees-" She was then shocked with electricity from the machine, followed by it saying, "LIE LIE LIE!" MetaGiga 'tsk'ed, "Sorry, but you're gonna have to tell what you were gonna give him for REAL."

"Fine. I was gonna give him a jewel or two-"

BZZZZT! "LIE LIE LIE!"

"I... Was gonna give him..."

BZZZZT! "LIE LIE LIE!"

"I wasn't gonna give the kid ANYTHING! THERE!"

No zaps. The only thing from the machine was, "TRUE TRUE TRUE!"

Shrugging, MetaGiga took the machine off Naboruu, who was pretty pissed. As she glared at the cute kikwi, Meta said to her, "Don't blame me! I'm just doing my job, dude!" Darkine nodded, "Yeah. We have no choice. But it's fun, right?"

"Right!" Meta exclaimed, "Now time for the best things ever! Dares!"

"Well, I'll leave that to you. My department's over. I'm just gonna take a nap."

With that said, Darkine left into her room as MetaGiga excitedly read through the dares. Upon reading the first one, she had a mischievous look on her cute little face. "One hundred alarm clocks, hm?" she murmured to herself, "Well, I know just the room where to put the guy... Scrapper!"

Seconds later, Scrapper propelled out of nowhere into the studio. "Zrrt! You called, MetaGiga?"

"Wait... What's THAT guy doing with YOU?!" SS demanded, stunned at how Scrapper appeared in the studio. The two looked over to him. "Didn't you know? Scrapper's my bud. How do you think all the big stuff that cluttered this place got moved? Not like I could do it. And no way in hell am I blowing it up and making a hole."

"Oh..."

"Yep so move it, Shortpants! Bzrrt!" Scrapper ordered. Once 'Shortpants' moved, Talon was lifted off the ground and placed into Darkine's room with a loud THUMP! ("Thanks, Scrapper!")

Moments later, one hundred old-fashioned alarm clocks were set at the exact same time and hauled into the room. Carefully shutting the door to not wake up Talon (like that was possible) OR Darkine, MetaGiga looked to the paper again. "Those clocks won't go off for a while so, next one... Alright, Tetra?"

Once Tetra looked over, Meta was now holding a stick... "Bippity boppity boo!" Once that was said with a wave of the stick, Tetra was now changed into her Zelda form. "Alright that's stayin' for three chapters, mmkay?" Meta said, grinning. Looking back at the set, she cracked up, "Man I need to update that... Groose, get over here!"

Shaking, Groose slowly stepped forward. He swore that this... Whatever it is was vaguely familiar... "Now then," Meta began, "You gotta read my story all about _you_. You heard me, YOU!" Groose really didn't want to... He had a bad vibe about it... "Alright, in the computer room you go! And you can't resist..." MetaGiga said, snapping. Instantly, Groose began moving on his own into the computer room. "Welp, I more or less broke the fourth wall just now. Time for the last one this chapter... AW YEAH, I LOVE THIS STORY!"

"Um... What story?" Tatl asked, curiously. "BEN Drowned. It's about-nah, all of you'll see~!"

Turning on a TV, MetaGiga pressed a button and a dramatic reading of it started playing. First, it was average, but then... It became a series of mind fucks and creepy ass Link statues. Then more mind fucks. In all, the entire cast was mesmerized by the story. "Welp, there we have it!" MetaGiga said, "First chapter down, no idea how many more to go. Bye all!"

She then went back to the reading.

* * *

**MAN that was fun! I missed doing this so much. And doing it in this style might be awkward, but at least it's being done anyway. PM those sets! Oh, all copyrights go to their respectful owners.**


	3. Colosseum rentals and Freddy Fazzbear!

_'DDDDRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIING!'_

"AAAAGH!"

"WHAT IN TARNATION'?!"

The alarm clocks were finally sounded and both Darkine and Talon were wide awake, freaked out by the sudden noise. Now that Darkine got a good look at her surroundings, she knew exactly what was going on... And the cause.

"... METAGIGA!"

Storming out of the room (which was still ringing with the alarm clocks), Darkine kicked open MetaGiga's bedroom door. Meta, however, was dancing around in front of a mirror while wearing a banana suit as a playlist of Hetalia songs played. Right now, the _Wa Wa World Ondo _was blaring throughout the room as it played on her computer. As soon as she noticed Darkine, MetaGiga grew wide eyed. "WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!" she demanded, flinging off the underwear and tying her bandana on as she shut the computer off to stop the song she doesn't own nor did she make. Darkine just stared, still trying to comprehend what she had just witnessed. Finally, she managed to reply, "Why did you put alarm clocks in my room? And what the HELL were you doing just now?!"

"One," Meta said, holding up a finger, "I had to stuff Talon in a room with a hundred alarm clocks, so I chose yours. And two," she held up a second one, "It's NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS! GOD, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TAUGHT TO _KNOCK _BEFORE YOU COME INTO PEOPLE'S ROOMS?! KI-KWEEP KWEE!"

Sighing, Darkine went out the door. "Well, I think those alarm clocks were the wake up call for everyone. So, get ready and let's go."

* * *

AFTER THAT...

* * *

The Zelda cast were lined up, ready for their upcoming doom as MetaGiga went out of her room. "Alrighty, guys! We have even more sets then last time!" she announced happily. This followed with groans from everybody else. Meta pouted, "Aw, don't be like that. If you don't think about it, it'll go by a little faster then it can be! That's what I do in school."

That really didn't reassure anybody.

"... Mmkay, let's see what we have here," MetaGiga said, pulling out some letters from her tail, "This first one's from TwilightPrince101!"

* * *

**I really like this! Alright, here are my requests. **  
** 1\. I know you have the power, so can you get midna into the story? I want to see how the TPs react.**  
** 2\. A dare for everyone: see how they react playing 5 nights at Freddie's**  
** 3\. A truth for all of the Links in private: we're any of you laid after your adventures?**

* * *

Grinning as she read through the set, MetaGiga put the letter away and started the actual story up. "Actually, Midna's already here. Everyone, including the dudes I forgot, are here. I mean, practically ALL of the Zelda cast is here," Meta explained, pointing to the imp herself, "And, yep... I GOT DA POWAH!"

Many groans filled the studio as the instrumental for 'I Got the Power' sounded throughout the place while MetaGiga started to sing along. After the song was done, she began the next dare... Which involved her computer. "Alrighty, guys. Time to play a little game about killer pizzeria animatronics," MetaGiga said happily. Darkine sighed, plugging the computer into an overhead television for all to witness the game. "Those things are damn disturbing, you know..." she murmured, fiddling with the settings. Meta laughed, "That's the point, dude!"

Once she booted up the game, three creepy cartoony animals were shown on the screen. One was a bunny, one was a chick-thing, and another... Was a weird bear. In brief flashes, the animals changed dramatically into demonic looking monster versions of themselves. "This is the second one," MetaGiga explained, "For some reason, the first one was DELETED FROM MY COMPUTER..."

Darkine then whistled, walking away slowly... Only to be stopped by Meta. "Oh no you don't. The dude says EVERYONE, so EVERYONE has to be here."

"But the last time you played this, you flipped shit and quit!" Darkine replied, wide eyed. She then was blown out the window by a bomb flower from Meta's tail. "NO I DIDN'T! Anyway, once she gets back, we'll start this shit!"

* * *

LATER...

* * *

The security room was empty. _Too _empty... Meta was constantly spamming the lights every time she looked up from the security cameras. WW decided to ask the question everyone was wondering, "Why aren't you moving?"

"Well, I wondered that too when I played at first," she replied, "Apparently I'm supposed to be one of those lazy night cops that sit around their office and doesn't get a clue that ditching this place would be okay. I mean, who would rob the place without living afterwards?" After that was said, Meta went wide eyed and put on the Freddy head. What was to the right was Bonnie the Bunny. The thing wasn't demonic looking as the mask was kept on... And then was gone just as fast as the animatronic appeared. Even though nothing happened, everyone was pretty tense.

Once the mask was taken off, the cameras were checked... Only to find Chika's fucked up face up in the camera. "PWEE KYU-KYUUU!"

The mask was put on once again as the kids were freaking out... And right as they thought they were done for, five o'clock turned to six inside the game. MetaGiga, however, was on the floor with her tail camouflage poofed out. Looking around, she hopped off the floor. "Well... Time for the next night..."

* * *

FOUR IN-GAME NIGHTS (and many, many fails) LATER...

* * *

Everyone was now wide eyed. So many deaths... So many fucking animatronics. As Darkine came out of her room and deflated her replica version of herself, she witnessed the entire scene. "Holy hell..." More then half of the cast were passed out. Some actually had heart attacks from the jump scares. Even MetaGiga was on the floor with her camo so wide that it almost looked as if she really _were _a bomb flower. "Alright. Let's see here," Darkine murmured, picking up the letter, "I guess I have to snap those Links out of this."

Digging around in her pocket, she pulled out...

A taco.

Going up to the group of Links, both passed out and frozen, she preformed a wavy motion and the taco sparkled. In an instant, the Links were revived! "Alright, Links. Since everyone's petrified, it's okay to ask right now. Sooo... Didja ever get _laid _after your adventures?" Darkine asked with a sly grin. The Links went wide eyed, then sighed.

Red, Purple, Blue, and Green (who appeared to relieve confusion) went first, "... Four way." OOT went after, "... It wasn't really a good time for it." OOT Jr. was next. "Well, I didn't. I'm a kid!"

MM sighed, "Nobody _to _do it with..."

WW, extremely uncomfortably, went, "... Tetra had a nice bed... Er... Yeah..."

"The Zelda in my world has no emotion whatsoever and is completely bland, so you know the answer to that," TP huffed. Finally, SS ended it off, "Well... I did it with Zelda, but the Item Check lady slapped me and had her heart broken... I didn't want to hurt her feelings when she asked if I loved her!"

"... You're a cruel, cruel person, SS," Darkine sighed. "It was to help a demon and save Skyloft from monsters!" "Whatever. Now to wait for everyone to recover."

* * *

**THIRTY MINUTES LATER**

* * *

MetaGiga sighed, shaking off the traumatizing experience as she took out the next letter. Since everyone has recovered, it was time to begin the next set! "This one's from agarfinkel!" Meta announced, "... And it better not have any goddamn animatronics..." she then added silently.

* * *

**Truths:**  
** 1\. A Link Between Worlds Link- who do you like more: Zelda or Hilda?**  
** 2\. A Link Between Worlds Impa- since we never got to see it, how did you get turned into a painting by Yuga?**  
** 3\. Every Link and Zelda except the ones from Skyward Sword- when you first meet each other, have you ever gotten the feeling that you already met before?**  
** 4\. Fi- what was being stuck in the Master Sword when it was used by the other Links, but never being able to speak to any of them?**

** Dares: **  
** 1\. Dark Link- cut out Ghirahim's annoying tongue**  
** 2\. Postman- deliver this exploding package to Tetra (the one from Phantom Hourglass), then say that it was from Linebeck**  
** 3\. Ocarina of Time Zelda and Skyward Zelda- have a harp playing showdown to see who is the best harp player**  
** 4\. Midna- destroy the chandelier at the Lumpy Pumpkin when Groose is there, then put the blame on him**

* * *

"Huh. Looks like the truths are coming first, Darkine," Meta mused, handing the set to her co-host. "You know the drill, kwee." "Yeah, I know. You take the dares, I handle the truths." MetaGiga then went into her room, shutting the door... Then began to screw around with her creepy Miis in in Tomodachi Life. "... Alright then," Darkine sighed, "Let's start these things up. LBW?"

The Link from Link Between Worlds (heheh) looked over with a confused look, then walked over to Darkine. "What's up?"

"Well, we have a 'personal' question for you," Darkine responded, then skimmed the sheet again. LBW then became quite nervous... _Personal _question? How personal would it be? "So, Hilda or Zelda?"

"What?" "Who do you like more? Hilda or Zelda?"

Oh great. Not this. "Hurry it up, Painty, don't got all day," Darkine demanded impatiently. "Well..." LBW began, "I like Zelda. Hilda's, um, nice... But, I like Zelda the most."

TLBW Zelda was smiling to LBW in delight... Hilda, however, was glaring daggers at LBW. This was when LBW crept behind Darkine, eyeing the glaring Hilda. Darkine just sighed, "Fine, I'll protect you from her... Mainly because I hate her guts. Next truth from this guy... Alright Impa from the same game, come on up here."

Once Impa made her way to the co-host, who was memorizing the rest of the truths. Looking back up to Impa, Darkine asked the next question, "So, how'd you get stuck in a painting?"

"I wanted to."

The studio became silent. Like, awkwardly silent. So silent that somewhere a baby was born. "... _Why_?" Darkine asked, raising an eyebrow. Impa rolled her eyes, "All my ancestors had to deal with helping the heroes for the princess. And we all never get any mention for all the stuff we had to go through. Talking to the Impa from this 'Ocarina of Time', she only had mention just by dying. So, maybe being a painting would actually be a way to change history for once."

"... Wow..."

* * *

**IN META'S ROOM**

* * *

_"Guess what? We had a baby!"_

"Oh hell no."

In the household of Randy Marsh and Meta's best friend, Terry, a baby has been born. After reluctantly choosing random, the ugliest baby boy she had ever seen showed his face. Huge squinty eyes, a lemon mouth, tiny eyebrows, a big nose made small... There was no way MetaGiga will mention this to Terry. Meta decided to select the 'creative' trait for it (since the thing was something even she wouldn't think up) and named it 'Billybewb'.

"My god... Why did I set these two up, kwee..." Meta murmured. Just then, Darkine walked in. "MetaGiga, you're up... What the absolute fuck is that thing?"

Turning to her co-host, she merely closed her New 3DS, "Darkine... I don't even know. I really don't."

* * *

**BACK IN THE STUDIO**

* * *

Meta came back in, her attitude changing dramatically, "Alrighty, now let's see what we've got here!"

Skimming the set, she then went pale. "D-Dark Link has to..." Right behind her, the ethereal being read over the set for him. If he could grin, he could... In a flash, he went to Ghirahim, pinning him to the ground. As DL grabbed Ghirahim's tongue, he held it high above him. As he began readying his sword, he-

"KU-PLEEEP-KWEEEEEEE!"

MetaGiga tackled him to the ground. With a spoon in her hand, she began to spoon DL as hard as she could. "NOBODY WILL HURT MY FREAK WHILE I'M STILL IN THIS BUILDING! KYUUU!" Meta screeched, continuing to spoon the ethereal Link. After minutes of this, DL faded into the ground. MetaGiga held her spoon into the air, grinning happily... Then went to the kitchen to put the spoon into the dishwasher.

Darkine simply facepalmed, "Well great. The host just got in the way of a dare. Time to watch as our ratings go down..."

Meta shrugged, then revived DL with a taco once she came back into the room. "Alright, so time to make a 'special delivery', flyboy," Meta said to the PH postman. Getting out a gift box, she detached a bomb flower from inside her camouflage and stuffed it in the package. After wrapping it in blue wrapping paper and putting a tag that said 'To Tetra from Linebeck', the kikwi handed it to the postman. Little did he know, it was a bomb that would detonate the second it was opened... "Priority mail. My second favorite wants it delivered pronto," MetaGiga ordered.

The flying postman saluted, then flew a few feet over to Tetra, who was busy talking to Tatl. "Delivery to Tetra from Linebeck!" he announced, handing it to Tetra, who was still in her Zelda form. Curiously, she opened it... Only to have a bomb blown in her face. Now with a smoky face with her hair blown back, Tetra was officially pissed off. Just seeing her, you could imagine smoke coming from her ears. Storming to Linebeck, who was having a very repetitive conversation with Linebeck the III, Tetra went in front of him and kicked him where the sun don't shine.

"AUGH!" he gasped, writhing on the floor, "Wh-What in blazes was THAT fo-"

CHA-PACK!

"AAAUGH!

That next was with her high heels. As this was happening, Linebeck the III was watching as his ancestor was getting beaten up by a small girl in a princess outfit. MetaGiga then came to the scene, "Well, I _would _help him. I mean, he's my second fav, but I'd rather not be subject to that. Alright, let's get on with this next one... SS, OOT Zelda?

Looking to the other, both came to the sadistic kikwi, who was pretty excited. "Alright... Time for an EPIC HARP BATTLE!"

OOT Zelda was confused. "... What do you mean?" she asked as her harp was summoned in her hands out of nowhere. Link was also puzzled as his own harp appeared, "Are we supposed to beat each other with our harps or what?"

"That be pretty awesome, but no," MetaGiga responded, "You two have to play the harp as best as you two can in a harp-off to see who's best. Since I can actually play, determine notes, and read music, I'll be the judge... Seriously, I can. I'm not lying. I'm a violinist... IRL."

"IRL?" the harpists questioned, which MetaGiga responded, "Nothing. Just stop stalling and start strumming, I'm gettin' kinda sleepy."

"Well, whatever. I've had practice over the years. Plus my hands are more gentle then his," OOT Zelda sighed. That got SS's attention. "Oh, so you think you're better because you can stroke more gently? I'll have you know I'm a prodigy. I learned sacred songs in the span of a few days!"

"Only five. I, on the other hand, know more then twice as many."

"Without me, you wouldn't even _be _here!"

Meta just sauntered away, a sly grin on her face. Jumping up on a podium, she grabbed the microphone laying on top of it. "Aaaalright everybody!" she announced into the mic, "Looks like we got some tension rising in the Torture studio! And that means... IT'S A ONE-ON-ONE BATTLE!"

The studio instantly morphed into a coliseum exactly like the Battle Tower from Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness; SS and OOT Zelda in the middle. Both Darkine and MetaGiga were up on a private balcony seat, Darkine in a seat next to her. "How the HELL did you afford this?!" Darkine demanded. Meta returned with a nervous laugh, "Uh..."

"Tell. Me."

"Well, since it's a clean slate for us, so we only had enough money for the place and furnishing. So, I thought I should make this place a bit more tricked out... So I rented the Battle Tower and used some magic to make the studio turn into it whenever! Well, I don't own it. I just rented it for the story," she replied. Darkine continued to stare. "And _where _did you get the money?"

"Aw, why does that matter?"

"WHERE."

"Your life savings?"

Seconds later, Darkine was now attempting to kill MetaGiga with her bare hands even though she had a dagger sheathed along her waist. While all this tomfoolery(hehe fun word) was going on, a serious harp-off was taking place. So far, OOT Zelda was winning. SS then countered with a brilliant change in keys that blended perfectly into the song he was playing. Finally, OOT Zelda decided to bring out the heavy artillery.

The Nocturne of Shadow.

This was a song that beat ANYONE in a duel of harps... Once the very song was played, SS was stunned. To be honest, he wasn't stunned at the expertise of the playing... He was stunned that OOT Zelda now has turned into a purple ball of light and soared away into the sky, leaving the battlefield altogether.

After about a minute, SS just plucked the 'Shave 'N A Haircut' tune as a signal of victory quietly to himself. Pushing Darkine off, MetaGiga took a look at the stadium... "SS wins by default," she announced, which led to her pressing the 'applause' button. As soon as the random crowd cheered, the stadium morphed back to the Truth or Dare studio. Darkine, however, was still pissed off at her boss. "I'll... _KILL_... You..." Darkine growled, only to be bashed in the head and knocked out with a huge hammer that had the phrase 'Buenos noches!' painted on it sloppily with bright red paint.

"Wh-what's THAT thing?!" Makar stammered, eyeing the mallet a bit. Meta grinned, "It's my latest invention: The Mallet-o-Amnesia! Name pretty much says it all... Anyway, looks like Darkine's out for the count for a bit," MetaGiga stated, putting the hammer into her tail that seems to be able to store anything, "Next dare!"

* * *

**AT THE LUMPY PUMPKIN**

* * *

Midna crept in the shadows, quite excited about what's about to happen. She looked down to see if her target was in place... And he was. Groose was sitting atop the balcony of the restaurant. She then looked to the bright chandelier. To be honest, it was actually really new. And kinda pretty...

_Perfect._

In a fluent movement, Midna sent out a small spark that let loose a chain keeping the giant glass creation hanging up. The link quickly loosened and the masterpiece fell to the ground, shattering against the table in the process (as well as scaring the hell out of the regulars and new customers). After a few seconds of silence...

"YOU UP THERE! GET ON DOWN HERE AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS!"

Before Groose could look around for the real culprit, Midna was gone. And no matter how many times he denied the deed, the shopkeeper wouldn't hear it. So, he had to do the payment as the Romans do in Rome. With his body. Yet sometimes, he swore he heard giggling when he was working...

* * *

**BACK AT THE STUDIO**

* * *

"Wow, that was pretty fun," Meta laughed, "Both that set AND the last dare. Good thing Midna decided to keep an eye on things..." Pulling out yet another slip, "This one's from Ayako Ze-" She was then interrupted with a bunch of ham being slapped into her face that somehow came out of the note. "Ki-pleep?!"

After that, she finally realized the joke.

* * *

BONUS:

"To another successful chapter!"

_Clink!_

Everyone was already asleep except for Darkine (who, for some reason, had a terrible headache) and a teenage girl. The girl had pale skin, messy medium length brown hair that was brushed carelessly, hazel eyes, a light brown jacket, green English kackies, worn out boots, a green beanie, and a cream shirt with the words 'I GOT A JAR A DIRT' above a bottle of dirt and the words, 'AND GUESS WHAT'S INSIDE IT' below it. Both she and Darkine were relaxing on the virando outside the studio, cheesecake and wine glasses by their side. Darkine looked to the girl, "You _do _know you're underage."

The girl replied with a shrug, "I'm not underage for drinking wine in France, Darkine. Besides, this is just fruit punch. Speaking of which..." She then grabbed the carton of juice and poured more into her glass. Darkine simply shook her head and took another sip of wine. "I'm two hundred years old. You'll never get anywhere if you drink your body weight in wine when you grow up."

"So, you've done it."

"... I still have _much_ to live for until I can finally die. Possibly until the Armageddon," Darkine grumbled. With a smirk, the girl chugged down her glass when she made sure her companion was watching... Which resulted in a groan by the two hundred year old. "You'd have a hangover if that were real."

"Oh, you underestimate me... _Old lady._"

"Shut up and have your cheesecake, MetaGiga."

* * *

**I love how awesome this is getting! Really, thanks guys! Also for your enjoyment, you can also dare Darkine and I. And a reminder: You and your sets can change the layout, the things we have to deal with in our studio, and our cast! Think of it as... Thinking outside the box.**

**Songs I listened to while making this: For The Longest Time, Wa Wa World Ondo, We Start the Flame War**

**All copyrights go to their rightful owners.**


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